And the three people who will watch UFC 141 for free compliments of Microsoft and MiddleEasy are…

Look at us, on the eve of Christmas Eve and we’re already giving away free presents to our MiddleEasy readers, compliments of Microsoft and UFC. A few days we cranked up a contest to let three people watch UFC 141 for absolutely free on their Xbox 360, and now it’s time to announce the winners. Don’t worry if you didn’t win. We’re not handing out runner-up trophies, but there will be a multitude of times to win contests on MiddleEasy in 2012.

Winners will be contacted on December 24th. Be sure to have your Xbox Live Gamertag ready.

1.) William

Anyone that would spend upwards of an hour constantly misspelling ‘Rawesome‘ just to win UFC 141 definitely get a vote in my book. We don’t even know what he’s talking about, really. This guy’s tangent goes off on a tangent. Regardless, he’s the first guy that will be able to watch UFC 141 live on his Xbox 360.

Are you serious, bro? Let’s take a trip to a little place called “RAWSOMEVILLE” and I’ll show you what’s up with this PPV.

First fight of the show: Nam Phan vs. Jimmy Hettes

Jimmy Hettes biggest win is Bruce [expletive] Leeroy, which isn’t that big of a deal. But the guy is undefeated and he’s finished all of his fights by submission, so he might just make you his bitch in about 3 different ways. Nam Phan should be 2-1 in the UFC because of dumb judges and he’s willing to throw down like a honey badger. Nam will kick and punch poor ‘Lil Jimmy all over until he falls down.

– 3 RAWSOMES out of 5

Next fight is Vladimir Matyushenko vs. Alexander Gustafsson in epically unpronounceable battle. Vlad has been busting heads and mopping up (BAHAHAHA) the competition, but Gusty is going to ride in and [expletive] him in the eye with his big Swedish [expletive]. Expect a few swings, maybe a Vlad takedown and then a Gusty submission win.

– 2 RAWSOMES out of 5, SOTN bonus

Next is Jon Fitch vs. Johny Hendricks.

WHAT THE [expletive] DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN, DUMBASS. JON FITCH TAKES A BREAK FROM KILLING DRAGONS AND HAVING CASUAL SEX WITH ELVES TO LAY ON JOHNY WITH ONE N FOR 3 ROUNDS, NEVER FINISHING HIM AND NEVER THREATENING TO.

Then he reiterates that he only wants to fight champions and former champions, everyone laughs and he still doesn’t get a title shot ever again EVER because damn are you boring, son.

– NEGATIVE 14.7 RAWSOMES, not RAWSOME in any way

The co-main event is Donald CERRONAY vs. Nick Diaz. Both guys will kick your ass standing up and outwork you on the ground. It’s an interesting fight right up until CERRONAY catches Nick in a flurry of [expletive] Muay Thai anger and cowboy rage and TKO’s him. That’s right, [expletive]. I’m calling for a Diaz to lose a fight by (T)KO. And what are you going to do? You scared, homie?

Don’t worry, though. This is still going to be the best fight on the card, because both guys are going to come out swinging, have some awesome scrambles and talk mad trash to each other in the cage during the fight. COWBOY VS. GANGSTA, SON. GET OUT YOUR WHISKEY AND TOMMY GUNS.

– 5 RAWSOMES out of 5, FOTN and KOTN bonuses

And of course, now we come to the titanic clash between Brock Lesnar and Alistair Overeem. I’m about to tell you what the [expletive] is up with this fight and you’d better listen: If Brock Lesnar can’t get a takedown and hold Reem down for all 5 rounds of this fight or TKO him on the ground, he’s getting put to sleep faster than the people who had to watch his [expletive] match with Goldberg back in the day.

Did you hear me, son? Reem wins this fight if they don’t go to the ground. Don’t say, “But wait, Will, anything can happen in MMA, herp derp.” No. You are wrong, retard. Shut your dirty, rotten whore mouth.

This fight will be RAWSOME because both of these men have massive d**ks and balls and they are going to try and [expletive] the [expletive] out of each other with them. By the way, I know I’ve made a few [expletive] references in here, but that’s because my [expletive] is RAWSOME and that’s all that this [expletive] is about.

– 4 RAWSOMES out of 5
– My [expletive]: 10 RAWSOMES out of 5

So that’s why this card is RAWSOME. But you know what else is? The fact that the UFC and Microsoft have teamed up to bring the fans something that they’ve always wanted. MMA (and by extension, the UFC) is worldwide sport that is only growing bigger and better every day. Fighter pay is getting larger and so are the arenas the the UFC goes to.

Those things are only possible because fans from the entire planet by the pay-per-views, buy the merchandise, go to the Fan Expos and take the time to spread the gospel of cage fighting to their friends and family. [expletive] all those other sports, son. You know you want to watch people punch each other in the throat and choke one another.

And now the UFC/Microsoft partnership has extended that fandom one RAWSOME step further: We get to watch cards from home while talking to people from all over the planet. Those same fans that pay that same money to see the same RAWSOME sport that you enjoy. Now that spiritual connection can be realized via some bleeps and bloops going through a few cables. This is not simply an Xbox app…this is a super fan meet up lobby. This is the United Nations for MMA. This is an epiphany of customer service and brutal violence.

This, my friends, is RAWSOME.

 

2.) Smashida

Smashida’s formula is simple. Write a statement, then include an unsolicited picture of Gina Carano along with a bonus .gif of Chuck Liddell reacting to a UFC fight. Score.

UFC 141 will be rawesome because the Reem will Hulk-Smash [expletive] Chestnar’s skull into a living death.

now look at this picture of Gina Carano

and now look at Chocolate Al

 

3.) themightymidget

If we didn’t pick this guy to be our third winner of UFC 141, then everyone at MiddleEasy would look like complete asshats. He guilt-tripped us, and it worked. Hope your son gets better and let’s hope he enjoys UFC 141 for free.

real talk … my son was diagnosed with cancer in 2010. i’m proud and happy to say that he’s doing fine, and actually kept his hair through chemo. so i think that’s rawesome enough for me.

one thing that i had to give up once he was diagnosed was ordering the PPVs. occasionally i’ll head to a bar to catch the main card, but it would be nice to post up in the living room with my little homie and watch any UFC PPV. the fact that this is a super stacked card would just make it that much better.

that’s how UFC 141 could take itself from rawesome to rawesomest, in my opinion.

Published on December 24, 2011 at 2:46 am
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