When I was eighteen, I owned Xpired.net which was essentially a hub where all the little high school phreakers/hackers would download plans to build impossible-to-construct electromagnetic surveillance devices and other machines that would ensure you would never lose your virginity. There was a thing called ‘HERF’ which a few claimed could be assembled with parts from Radio Shack and housed in the enclosure of a standard backpack. When the device was turned on, you could allegedly aim the antenna at another electric device and disrupt the machine’s circuitry. In short, if Homeland Security existed back in those days, I would have finished the remainder of my high school education in Guantanamo Bay. You don’t attract chicks by coding HTML on a Friday night when you should be illegally drinking in someone’s backyard. Not at all. You score the opposite sex by beasting it on the football field and then taking your helmet off just to headbutt your teammates.
In other edition of ‘Blast to the Past’ we explore Forrest Griffin’s skull, which is clearly composed of some exotic element like adamantium or vibranium. Check out your favorite TUFer destroying on the field at his high school football game.
