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A Lesson in Street MMA: Just because your shirt says 'BEAST MODE' doesn't mean you can fight

Let this be a lesson for all of you young up-and-coming dastardly hooligans of the world, if you're going to rock a shirt that says 'BEAST MODE' scrawled on the front, you should almost always throw the first punch and never let up until you either gas from exhaustion or vanquish your opponent.

Actually we don't advocate any of that. MiddleEasy is a site of peace and compassion. That's why we have a section called 'A Lesson in Street MMA.' This is stuff that we don't want any of you doing, at any point in the future. If you have access to a time machine, we don't want you doing any of this stuff in the past either.

Just sit back and learn from this new lesson in Street MMA on your favorite website, MiddleEasy.com. Props to @Stullo4real for the find.

Woah, Andrei Arlovski is BACK in the UFC!

Chalk this down in your list of incredibly improbable things you thought would happened the afternoon of April 24th 2014. Dana White decided to make everyone's head implode by announcing Arlovski is back with the UFC, just 30 minutes after his World Series of Fighting contract ended. Yeah, we had no idea it would happen either. So Arlovski is in the mix, now all we need to do is make a rematch with Nelson since that first EliteXC bout was straight bonkers.

Whoa, is this really the Bellator PPV price?

Say it ain't so, Viacom. Can this really be true? A user on The Underground discovered on a Time-Warner cable listing stating that it will cost $45 for the HD broadcast of the upcoming Bellator PPV. Considering the vast amount of MMA, boxing and other entertainment in our lives, can any of us really justify spending $45 on this Bellator PPV, or even the $35 for the standard definition broadcast? I could go out for 3-star dinner with a guest of my choosing for $35-45. I could buy many videogames featured on a Steam sale for that kind of cash. Why can't they just make it $15-20? I would gladly purchase the Bellator PPV for that amount, but now I think I will just enjoy a rare weekend off from fighting considering I refuse to pirate out of respect for Shlemenko.

$35 is over half way to EA UFC and that will likely provide a hundred hours of entertainment to the right person. All of these people need to start realizing it's 2014, not 1994. No, I don't want to gather a bunch of my friends in my home and divvy up the cost. Why should I be forced to do that? Simply on principle. 

I get that Viacom wants to recoup some Bellator cash and fast, but the PPV model is dead. Who knows how many of the UFC PPV buys are from bars around the nation. Considering these bars won't be showing Bellator's PPV (I'm assuming), and only the most hardcore of hardcore fans with a disposable fight-watching income that will reach into the hundreds of dollars with 2 UFC PPVs and the Mayweather fight all taking place in the weeks surrounding the Bellator PPV could afford this. How can this be a success? How can this even get more than say, 10,000 buys realistically? 

MMA is officially the most expensive sport to watch, and that is hindering its growth, despite what the promoters and executives may think. And onus is on them to make their business work.

Joey Bada$$ made Phil Davis' UFC 172 walkout music, and it's pretty badass

When Joey Bada$$ came to the scene when he was a 17-year-old I told everyone I knew (or would listen to me) that he's the greatest thing that happened to East Coast hip-hop since Wu-Tang Clan came out in 1993 -- two years before Joey Bada$$ was even born. The first song that got me reeled in was 'Hardknock,' which had that gritty mid-90s film that East Coast hip-hop used to invoke. 'Now the prolific rapper has turned 19 and has decided to hop in the MMA world by creating Phil Davis' walkout music for UFC 172 titled 'Mr. Wonderful.' Check it out.

Don't ruin the Thai New Year or you will face pro Muay Thai fighters for your transgressions

Songkran, Thailand's New Year, is basically the world's biggest water fight. Young and old take to the streets to soak each other with buckets of water, squirt guns, water balloons and any other device with which to douse another human being with H2O. It seems like it's a lot of good fun, until it isn't. Of course, some douches will make their way out of the woodwork and ruin things for everyone. That's why the Thai government has decided to round up any thug tainting the good fun and placing them firmly in a ring to face a pro Muay Thai fighter who is pissed he can't be out in the crowd with his favorite Super Soaker. 

Watch what happens to these tough guys when they get in the ring with real tough guys.

Props to HighFreq from the UG for finding this one!

Watch the full Mayweather vs. Canelo fight because it was simply amazing

I'm sure, most of you much like myself have wondered, what it would be like to be a professional fighter. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on what way you look at it the majority of people reading this, including myself aren't. I have had time to think about it and wonder if I was in the position to face some of the best fighters in the world what I would do.

After putting far too much thought into it. I've come to the clear conclusion that is much rather face someone like Roberto Duran or Tommy Hearns rather than someone like Floyd Mayweather. My rational behind this is simple, if I fight a power puncher, chances are, I'll get knocked out and my night will be over, if I was a high level fighter. If I fight someone such as Floyd, I'll be in the ring for 12 rounds, getting my shoes boxed off and being completely and utterly frustrated. It'd be akin to playing Dark Souls with your feet.

This is something that Canelo Alvarez experienced last year, in what was in terms of magnitude, the biggest fight I've seen in years. Now you have the chance to relive it as Showtime has released the fight on YouTube.

 

There you have it, Dan Henderson vs. Daniel Cormier at UFC 173, winner gets a title shot

Just minutes ago Dana White announced on ESPN Sportscenter that Dan Henderson vs. Daniel Cormier has been assembled for UFC 173 and the winner gets a title shot against the winner of Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira. Woah, bet you didn't expect that happening today -- and if you did you're probably into soothsaying witchcraft. That's the breaking news Dana White planned for this week, and now you know. Consider yourself privileged.

In the meantime, let's look at this video of Hendo teaching the world how to pull off the H-bomb.

You have NEVER seen Jon Jones vs. Alexander Gustafsson from this angle, ever

If you snooze you lose, but if you don't snooze then you'll have insomnia and poor health. Either lose or suffer from poor health. There are absolutely no other alternatives. Snooze or die, and then snooze forever. Basically it's impossible to truly win, you can only not lose. That's life for you, folks. Sorry to get so unnecessarily deep this early in the morning -- I know you're tired, which is just more evidence that you should have snoozed.

We can guarantee you watching Jones vs. Gustafsson live did not make any of you snooze. It was the moment when the entire MMA world thought he champion would be dethroned by a dude from Sweden, only to find out that in the end, Jones' swager levels were just a little higher than Alexander. You've seen the fight before, but we can 100% guarantee you that you've never seen it from this angle.

Glover Teixeira says he will be shocked if Jon Jones dominates him at UFC 172

It's only Wednesday and I can already feel the anticipation building up in the air for Jon Jones vs. Glover Teixeira. You know that unmistakable emotion you felt when Werdum was walking to the cage to fight Travis Browne last Saturday? Now multiply it by 60x and you have your UFC 172 main event. I'm willing to say I believe Glover Teixeira will defeat Jon Jones based on the fact that it seems like with every title defense, his body has been slowly falling apart. I mean the toe from Chael Sonnen, the arm from Vitor Belfort, the eye and leg from Alexander Gustafsson. The real question is what injury will Jones leave the Octagon with this time, and will he have his belt around his waist?

If you ask Teixeira then he would be more than happy to answer that question. In an interview with Brazil's SporTV, Glover stated that he would be surprised if Jones could dominate him in their upcoming UFC 172 fight.

During my fights and training people already know that's very difficult to happen. I already fought Rampage Jackson and took him down easily - six TDs that, honestly, I didn't even had to struggle. I fought Ryan Bader and also took him down. Neither of them took me to the ground. I train with top fellows, like Chuck Liddell, Lyoto Machida, I've also trained with JDS and Cain Velásquez and neither of them, nor anybody, dominated me. If it happens, what he's talking about, I'll be very surprised. Some people believe that, but if he actually pulls this off I'll be shocked, because it has never happened in my career, neither in training nor in fights. I don't believe I'll dominate him either, but I think my hand will reach him and I'll get the KO.

I don't think about dominating, I prepare myself for the worse hypothesis. I train to remain calm during the situations that may occur. If he drops me, I'll pass the guard, mount or take his back, I prepared myself to do that. I'll fight Jon Jones on the UFC, he's among the best of all time. I expect shots coming from everywhere. He's almost the same as Anderson Silva, only more predictable. Anderson is more startling. But my technique will prevail over this tactics and I'll get to the top. I'll take this belt.

I'm picking Teixeira not because I want to see Jones lose, but simply because Teixeira would be considered a mythical creature if he existed 4,000 years ago.

A Lesson in Street MMA: Never cheap shot a fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt, EVER

So what we have here is the classic case of an overconfident doorman and a fat guy that has a head constructed out of uncrushable brain cells. There's not much back story to this Lesson in Street MMA, but it appears the fat dude and his friends were having a slight run-in with the bouncers outside of a club. Apparently the fat guy was a verbal wizard and slammed the doorman's ego to the point where he tried to lunge at him with a headbutt. The angle on the video sort of prevents us from seeing if it landed, but the fat guy immediately walked through three people to launch one clean shot on the bouncer. Of course this was the end for any hope of civility for these people, and in the end the fat guy reigned supreme -- sans Hawaiian shirt. Props to Gonzo for the +100 news tip.

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