Lyoto Machida just announced that he punches a piece of wood 500 times a day. Trees everywhere are now hiding under their beds at night. Props to Fighters Only Magazine for giving us confirmation that Lyoto Machida's real name is Kal-El.

“My punch is my heaviest hit and the toughest one to be defended by the opponent. I study the distance, the pace of fighting, because everybody knows how to punch. When to punch is the more difficult part. I train with a piece of wood (width 10cm, length: 1.30m) for about 400, 500 hits a day at each side. I also attack the punchbag to strengthen the movement”

So we all know that Machida has an abnormally high count of metachlorians running through his veins. Dude is 15-0 and he's already built a guest house for his UFC Light Heavyweight belt (because it's going nowhere...like the dude who crashed on my sofa for 7 months). But what you probably didn't know is that Lyoto Machida just signed with Jaco Clothing. If you're not familiar with Jaco Clothing, just imagine if you were abducted by aliens and in exchange for that hour long 'probe session', they gave you a pair of Jaco shorts to make up for it. A few months ago we told you how Jaco Clothing makes the most sophisticated MMA gear in the world. At first we didn't believe them so they sent over a pair of black Resurgence Fight Shorts along with a couple of shirts which exploded in our face upon delivery.

This stuff is the real deal. Rocking a Jaco shirt must be what Tony Starks first felt after he put on his Iron Man suit. Apparently making shirts out of cottons isn't good enough for these guys so they decided to create their stuff from bamboo. Bamboo! The same stuff Singapore police would cane you with if they caught you spitting your gum out in a trash can and missed. When I saw Brandon Vera and Big Nog rocking Jaco Clothing at UFC 102 I reached for my Corona Extra but then I spilled it...which was pretty anti-climatic. Jaco Clothing didn't pay me to say any of this. I'm just a ridunkulously huge fan of these guys and the fact that Jaco Clothing signed an MMA alien god masquerading around in a human-being costume says a lot about their company. If you ever wanted to know what it's like to be a Jedi, throw on some Jaco gear. The first 300 hundred people that make a purchase today gets a complimentary light-saber.

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0 # Face_Breaker 2009-10-01 04:08

LMAO! Where's my light-saber?! On the other topic at hand, I bet Machida, Rick James's that plank until it loves him. I wonder if the plank has a name? It would be rawesome if it was "bitch".

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0 # Xolociano 2009-10-01 04:33

Does he punch it bare fisted or with gloves? Points to him if he punches it bare fisted

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0 # Senor Stab Wound 2009-10-01 05:47

Punching wood is traditional in shotokan karater

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