This past weekend, I eagerly watched Marloes Coenen walking into the cage on a choppy web-stream while the fire alarm in my apartment building went off. Every part of me wanted to ignore it until I looked out the window and saw a dozen emergency vehicles closed the entire street. Even then, I wanted to stay in my apartment and finish watching the fights before evacuating a burning building, but FDNY didn’t give me that option when they pounded on my door because the hallway was filled with smoke. I pleaded to the them in the lobby to go back and grab my laptop, but they explained that surviving this ordeal would be a more fruitful option than watching the main event of Invicta FC. They clearly have different priorities than I do. If Marloes is reading this right now, I hope she understands that I was willing to burn to death watching her fight this weekend, but the New York Fire Department didn’t allow me to; and for that, I’m sorry.
The remainder of my night was a lot like the videos below, except there weren’t any cameras to document it, and our beverages were far less exciting while being considerably more expensive. Also, Dana White and Ed O’Neill weren’t there. Props to Zombie Prophet for the rip.