A few months ago we had this same NeoCell Collagen Sport contest and invited the MMA world to create the greatest MMA haiku for 60-days of the greatest nutritional complex known to man. Instead of praising your fellow MMA haiku writers, you guys sent every participant into a fiery put of thumbs down. We eventually found one sole person that had a nominal amount of thumbs up, and he was awarded the nutritional spoils of war.

I would be lying if I told you I didn't drink a glass of this stuff for breakfast shortly after I crawl out of bed. NeoCell's Collagen Sport is a four-stage nutritional supplement designed to help you refuel, recover, regenerate and replenish. It also helps me obtain witty 90s references and incorporate them into articles with ease. NeoCell's Collagen Sport is synthetic-free, sugar-free, gluten-free, lactose-free nutritional supplement.

NeoCell also helped us produce the upcoming 'Ronda Rousey's Road Trip to the 209,' an episodic show that will hit MiddleEasy.com in a few more days. In the meantime, NeoCell wants to give away free stuff to MiddleEasy readers. In order to make this happen, we're bringing back out infamous 'The Greatest MMA Haiku Contest.' Check out the official rules below.

Rules:

We want to read the greatest MMA haiku known to humanity -- and it's your job to come up with it. The haiku could be anything MMA related. Of course, the greatest haiku will eventually win a free 60-day supply of Collagen Sport in both Belgian Chocolate and French Vanilla flavor. Here's a brief example that I've whipped up to get your brains cranking:

Cro Cop with blue wings

Flying past edible sharks

Through time and through space

Note to everyone, if your haiku is as horrible as mine -- don't expect to get even close to winning. The underlying structure of a haiku is three lines, with the first line being five 'moras' (or syllables), second line contains seven moras, and the final line contains three. So a 5-7-5 structure. Hope that didn't confuse you, but if it did then you may need to retake 6th grade literature.

As of now, the contest is open to anyone on the planet.

How to win:

You must be a registered user on MiddleEasy.com with a valid email to enter. Publish your creative MMA haiku in the comment section below. The haiku with the most thumbs-ups by May 13th 9:00pm EST will win a 60-day supply of Collagen Sport. It's as simple as that.

Now go, be creative!

Comments   

 

-13 # Guest 2012-05-09 18:46

This sounds like something for self-conscious women in there 30's.

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+5 # Zeus 2012-05-09 18:48

Quoting rashad-mousasi:

This sounds like something for self-conscious women in there 30's.

THAT'S NOT IN HAIKU FORMAT!!!

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0 # Guest 2012-05-09 18:53

You sound like something for self-conscious women in their 30s.

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-09 20:28

And if I am ?

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+3 # Gruden Free 2012-05-09 18:48

diaz 2-0-9
ronda rousey anytime
for rear naked toke

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-9 # synthsis 2012-05-09 19:04

We tried this before,
Contest failed miserably,
Chappelle comment won.

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-8 # aint.that.a.kick.in.the.head 2012-05-10 06:00

Yo I got robbed son
Stealin all my Collagen
Haters Ball Real Talk

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-10 # Guest 2012-05-09 19:11

Most Icons Dawdle
Diaz Loves Exercising
Always Submits Yobs

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-8 # ilynyba 2012-05-09 19:19

H-bomb to the chin
Jon Bones Jones has been dethroned
Hendo is Rawsome

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-3 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 19:20

Do MMA Fans
Value Hyped Hulks Over Skills?
Ghost of B. Lesnar

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-9 # satsamagraha 2012-05-09 19:21

I come in the night
striking fear in mortal hearts
I, Don Frye's mustache

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-8 # Lefthea D. Kick 2012-05-09 19:21

Paul Harris On Leg
One by One Tendons Snap Fast
Held For Far Too Long

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-6 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 19:26

These Things Eternal:
Dana Curses, KOs Thrill
FrateTrane Disputed

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-09 19:28

“Box you up,” they say.
War Diaz. “What?” TWO-OH-NINE!
Our fists up, they run.

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-09 19:32

Yes, Diaz smokes pot
No, He is not a gangster
But mean mugs like one

209

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-3 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 19:33

One Day Zeus Decreed
MiddleEasy Only Needs
Fedor, Diaz, Weed

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-7 # Guest 2012-05-09 19:35

Here is my haiku
It is about M-M-A
Because i said so

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-5 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 19:39

Never Forget Chael
Who Put Us Under His Spell
Laughs Sell Fights Like Hell

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-10 # Will-Kill 2012-05-09 19:40

MMA is Life.

Life is the greatest challenge.

Challenge for your life.

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-8 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 19:42

War Axe Murderer
Fighting Vitor Now? Truly
Wandy's Cup Is Large

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-4 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 19:45

Pavlovian Wood
Summoned When Goldie Says The
Lovely Whoever

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-8 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 19:55

Want To Close The Deal?
Whisper "Don't Be Scared Homie"
Chicks Dig It, For Real

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-10 # HipsDontLie 2012-05-09 20:02

Dana Fing White
F Loretta and F Gross
Love Ariel

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-10 # HipsDontLie 2012-05-09 20:08

Mark Hunt The Haiku
Does Not Have Enough Speak
For 12 Syllables

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-8 # Vlad 2012-05-09 20:58

Mike Russow's hammerfist
Still rattles in my brain
Like it did Todd Duffee's

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-9 # RapeageJackson 2012-05-09 21:10

Fedor, Crocop, Nog
Wandy, Arona, Saku
PRIDE WILL NEVER DIE

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-9 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 21:20

If Nothing Else, Fights
Have Taught Me How To Rightly
Say Brazilian Names

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-8 # Fatty_Sam86 2012-05-09 21:23

The Ubereem Knee
Will go down in history
And I'll smile with glee

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-11 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 21:26

Best Christmas Ever:
Private Lessons With Ronda!
Alas, Just a Dream

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-10 # WooTeng 2012-05-09 21:32

Phillip Baroni
Go Get Ya Fuckin Shinebox
The New York Bad Ass

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-20 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-09 21:52

Like Street MMA?
Probably Not, If You're Matched
Against Mad Datsik

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-10 # Guest 2012-05-09 22:01

i am way too stoned
to write a stupid haiku
where's the doritos?

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-8 # connertreffry 2012-05-09 22:28

Fedor is still god
Shogun will be back on top
Pride will never die

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-10 # Guest 2012-05-09 22:33

thank you chael sonnen
for kicking andersons ass
you are the real champ

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-10 # Letibleu 2012-05-10 00:15

koscheck tries real hard
he even gets fake eyepoked

fuck this he aint worth a haiku, sorry.

For reals, you all need to read this, it will help one of you win that fake tit prize:

Haiku has been called an "unfinished" fight because each one requires the reader to finish it in his or her mind. People who predict fights correctly usually think in haiku.

Remember that haiku was originally a pictographic way of expressing language. When it is written, it uses mostly uses picture words to represent ideas visually instead of words such as those in the English alphabet. Bass Rutten does the opposite and instead uses descriptives such as 'bing' 'bang' and 'pow'.

There are some who say that haiku can just be a short fragment (no more than three words) followed by a phrase. The following is an example of such a structure, which is often very effective, but this example fails to have the necessary seasonal reference or to create an intuitive spark or leap of understanding in the relationship between the two parts.

early evening
small flat stones
line the shore

also:

Go Fuck Yourself

The constenant 'f' cant count as its own Bob Sapp but can interact with the rest as a Gracie.

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-11 # Letibleu 2012-05-10 00:18

I am a fan so far. This may be my new home.

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-12 # Letibleu 2012-05-10 00:27

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R7IlTHaee8

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-13 # Letibleu 2012-05-10 00:28

awwww,cant post vids, might not be my new home. I'll sleep on it.

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 03:41

The Last Emperor
Fedor Emelianenko
Loves: ice cream, sweaters.

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 04:21

I see a hot chick
Tumbling locks on a bare back
Oh, Clay Guida oops

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-9 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 05:28

Kizer Is A Narc
Forget Doctor Benjamin
Nick Needs Ron Kuby

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-10 # Guest 2012-05-10 05:54

MMA is Middle Easy
bones break
The crowd goes crazy

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-8 # MMA_Hole 2012-05-10 06:06

Nick Diaz smoked weed
Was suspended by NSAC
Don't be stoned homie

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-8 # MMA_Hole 2012-05-10 06:07

Horse runs for his life
Overeem close behind him
The Reem is hungry

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-8 # MMA_Hole 2012-05-10 06:11

Dana Fucking White
Asks if you would like to be
A fucking fighter?

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-10 # raylewisflacco 2012-05-10 06:20

fedor the last god

on his throne devoid of time

for time discards him

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-8 # Irony 2012-05-10 06:52

hard to make gay poem
vote all others down instead
sell prize on e bay

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-8 # MMA_Hole 2012-05-10 07:17

Chael Sonnen trolls us
But will get his comeuppance
Come July seventh

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-8 # MMA_Hole 2012-05-10 07:19

Why would you spoil it?
Why would you ruin the fight?
Cruz's ACL

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-8 # MMA_Hole 2012-05-10 07:21

I'm on a roll here
Hope we're not limited to
Just one entry each

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 07:22

Nick,Nate,Stock ton yo...
Gangsta Boxing and Ground Work
Don't Be Scared Homie

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-8 # schmohawk 2012-05-10 07:28

Hey, Alisteroid
You're an Overdosereem
That makes us so sad

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 07:29

Wand broken English
Subtitles read like nonsense
Still like more than Vitor

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-9 # Guest 2012-05-10 07:29

Nick Ring is as queer,
As Jones is fake it's quite clear,
With who you'd drink beer.

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 07:33

Barboza Kick insane
Etim still not awake yet
Van-Damme taught him that!

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 08:27

"Shit. Fuck. Shit shit shit...
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck."
Exclaimed Dana White

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-3 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 08:30

Win, Tap, Snap, or Nap
MMA Is Everything
Octagon of Life

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 08:36

Constantly injured,
Silva, GSP, and Cruz
hold belts forever.

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-9 # Guest 2012-05-10 08:44

We never tire of
the "Hendo KOs Bisping"
animated gif.

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-8 # Sherko 2012-05-10 08:47

Fedor remains king
While the haters gonna hate
Dana can suck it

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-4 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 08:49

Fight in DNA
From the Amazon Jungle
To Stary Oskol

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-8 # Sherko 2012-05-10 08:51

From all the haiku's I liked this one the most:

Quote:

Cro Cop with blue wings
Flying past edible sharks
Through time and through space

I just hope you got a valid email address registered here Zeus.

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-9 # Guest 2012-05-10 08:53

MMA haiku?
Poetic gogoplata
Gomi understands

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-4 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 08:59

Every Mans Nightmare
Cyborg Says I'm Not Impressed
By Your Performance

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 09:00

It looks like the one
with fewest negative votes
will be the winner.

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-10 # Guest 2012-05-10 09:05

mixed martial arts
legends have to fall at some point
new generation lack personality

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 09:05

Condit tried to run
from guy who does triathlons
between fights, for fun.

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-8 # Sherko 2012-05-10 09:21

The Reem will be back
Do not let you to be faked
He has too much cock

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-9 # Guest 2012-05-10 09:31

to expand on my earlier haiku, this time actually fitting the formula.

legends have to fall
new generation lack charm
mma's future?

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-10 # Guest 2012-05-10 10:09

Hater's Ball real talk
Charlie Murphy needs a show
Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate

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-6 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 10:50

True Grace Eludes Us
But Hope for Oneness Remains
If Genki Walks Earth

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-7 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 10:52

Like Moths Drawn to Light
Crowds Surround Belligerents
To Witness The Burn

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-5 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 11:00

Pay Per View Events
My Money Flies to Heaven
Fueling Sport's Success

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-4 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 11:04

Bathe Before Rolling
Your Mama May Like Your Stink
But Staph Is No Joke

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-8 # SmokeMyHendo 2012-05-10 12:05

Gabe kicked Cro Cop's Head
Diaz beat Gomi via Gogoplata
both are not the same

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-1 # Guest 2012-05-10 16:41

I don't mean to rain on your parade, and I'm sure it won't make a difference anyway, but your second line is like, way over 7 syllables. 2+1+2+2+4 = 11

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-6 # Dana Whitu 2012-05-10 12:31

Door Closes, Danger
No Fly, Must Fight. I Know Why
The Cage Fighter's King

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-9 # Guest 2012-05-10 13:23

muay thai kickboxing
sambo jiu jitsu wrestling
judo and boxing

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-8 # mooseherder 2012-05-10 15:19

Lyrical kicking
Notes dancing on the ring ropes
Like Genki Sudo

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-8 # raoulduke666 2012-05-10 16:38

Honor and spirit
Legends come and legends go
Pride will never die

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-8 # bleakmessiah 2012-05-10 18:22

I have honed my art
We both must enter the cage
Only I shall win

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 19:21

Don Frye's Mustache Smells
Like A Japanese Whore House
Get On His Level

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 19:25

Jon Jones: great fighter,
but no on likes him anyways.
Fake swagger jacker.

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-9 # connertreffry 2012-05-10 21:19

Pride UFC DREAM
Athletes Warriors Godlike
Greatest sport ever

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-8 # connertreffry 2012-05-10 21:20

and that is how you win

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-8 # Guest 2012-05-10 22:48

Ronda collects arms
Takes what she wants so nasty!
Doesn't give a fuck

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-10 # smarty 2012-05-10 22:59

Okay thought I was logged in. Wasn't so reposting this.

This my Ronda honey badger haiku (if you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, check out "honey badger" on YouTube).

Ronda collects arms
Takes what she wants so nasty!
Doesn't give a fuck.

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+2 # Guest 2012-05-11 00:04

Lol, had a feeling everybody would just be voting everyone else's down. Almost impossible to get one thumb up

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-4 # Guest 2012-05-11 11:02

And I bet people are creating crap profiles just to vote others down, while voting theirs up.

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-9 # Guest 2012-05-11 06:33

the sport has evolved
due to the drive of masses
let's go kick some ass

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-9 # Guest 2012-05-11 06:34

this cage of battle
with many different faces
only reigns one champ

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-8 # toenail 2012-05-11 07:14

nevada took his license
middle finger in the air
its triathlon time bitches
diaz doesnt care

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-6 # toenail 2012-05-11 07:18

stockton
209
puff puff

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-8 # toenail 2012-05-11 07:21

ronda/tate
mastur.. of the armbar
new champion

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-5 # Guest 2012-05-11 10:15

Contest strategy:
submit last second haiku
for fewest downvotes

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-7 # MirrorFighter 2012-05-11 15:34

I won this last time
Have your Facebook friends help out
Cheaters are jokers

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-6 # Lefthea D. Kick 2012-05-11 20:33

Nike Air Max Black
Spammed like Left Hook and Right Hook
Chute Boxe Never Dies

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-7 # CALI 2012-05-12 10:35

Tried To Make Haiku
Only in disappointment
Down voting trolls blow.

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-1 # CALI 2012-05-13 00:26

fucktards..

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-4 # Guest 2012-05-12 22:32

what a joke

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-5 # RoverSteve 2012-05-13 12:55

some of these are actually awesome. i think i'd rather it just be a question of editors favourite as opposed to thumbs up bullshit

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-6 # Guest 2012-05-13 13:12

In my trophy shelf
Jon Jones died of old age
A lonely businessman

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-6 # Guest 2012-05-13 13:14

On my trophy shelf
Jon Jones died of old age
A lonely businessman

*

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-7 # RoverSteve 2012-05-13 13:18

man this nick diaz
precarious career
dont throw it away

thats my last...

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