I respect my local mailman and I’d never try to kill him. The dude brings me awesome things from eBay on a weekly basis, and if he were dead, I’d literally have nobody to make fun of for wearing a NY Mets hat. Other mailmen/mailwomen might be faster or funnier, but they could also be slower and less social. It’s a risk I’m not willing to take. I depend on my mailman showing up and providing me with consistent levels of humor at his expense for 30 seconds of every day. I want him to live forever, or until I move out of Hells Kitchen. I’m not sure if Gilbert Melendez has a similar relationship with his mailman. All I know is that the Strikeforce lightweight champion is fighting Josh Thomson in a rubber match this weekend, and although he respects his opponent, according to this MMAWeekly interview Gilbert is going to try to kill him.