Somewhere in Florida, Hector Lombard's pre-fight bath salts are sitting alone on the foyer, next to his toothbrush and eye drops. The middleweight horror show that was middleweight champion in Bellator was nowhere to be found tonight at UFC 149, and Lombard was very narrowly defeated by Tim Boetsch because of it.
Although Lombard landed his fair share of stiff shots, Boetsch, like an angry stepfather finding swiped porno magazines under the mattress, refused to wilt to what offense Lombard had to throw at him, and that much was all Boetsch needed to secure the demystifying win. Both men, with acidosis burning their muscles, were showered by the boos of the bored crowd, then Boetsch received the split decision over Hector Lombard.
One thing is for certain on this night; Alexander Shlemenko just took a shot of vodka and Bjorn Rebney is cackling maniacally, the silhouette of a Winnebago behind him.