Last year I learned how to say 'Can I have a hamburger?' in Russian, but I instantly forgot it. I have the attention span of a warm jar of mayonnaise. The purpose of temporarily learning a new language was solely to impress a waitress that works at a Russian fast-food place here in Hollywood. However, due to my inability to retain newly acquired information, I asked how many 'Emelianenkos' she knew in her home country. Yes, that was my ice breaker.
It's tough to hit on Russian chicks, and it's even more difficult when the men of the country compete in organized street fights in the middle of a field with sand being used as a canvas. In Mother Russia, sand doesn't get in your eyes, you get into the sand's eyes -- or something. I forgot how that internet meme works. In Mother Russia, internet memes forget how you work. There, I finally nailed it. In Mother Russia, it finally nails you.
It looks like our buds at Tron MMA are back with a little bit of the bizarre ultra violence. Apparently the promotion plans to have a 2-on-2 tournament in the immediate future, and we're going to do our scientific best to stream it on MiddleEasy for absolutely free. In the meantime, check out this newly released Tron MMA video of Oleg Goritsin vs Vasia Glebov getting down in the sand.