Melvin Guillard, I want to tell you something: life is a random lottery of meaningless tragedies and and a series of near escapes. I wish I could take credit for that quote, but it belongs to Ethan Hawke's character in Reality Bites. You may not have expected such a profound thought to come from a 1994 romantic comedy starring Winona Ryder, but sometimes the truth shines from the most unexpected of places, waiting to illuminate you in these dark times.
But perhaps, Melvin, these times are dark because you're wearing friggin' sunglasses indoors.
At least your hat rested safely upon your head for the entire duration of your walk out at UFC 150. The security was no doubt on point, deflecting an attempted hat thief with such professionalism the security officer didn't even blink or break his stride. Incredible.