Screw the whales, they can help themselves. Don't worry about the war on terrorism, you can't fight an idea. Stop banging against internet piracy, as a wiseman once said 'You can't stop the internet, baby.' Those are all imaginary battles -- we need a friggin' superhero specifically designed to stop hat thievery in MMA. Alright, maybe we don't. That would be an incredible waste of a monthly comic book series.
The hat thieves struck again at UFC 153. Anderson Silva and Big Nog's caps were sacrificed to the MMA gods (or some drunk Brazilian kleptomaniac). They nabbed hats with the quickness that can only be replicated by the amount of time it would take me to run away from an extraterrestrial if I saw one in a dark alley. Fortunately, Wagner Prado's superior head movement and quick recovery enabled him to avoid being another victim to a mysterious arm that emerged from the sold-out crowd at the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Props to Zprophet for the find.