Bisping blasts Belcher in his brand-new blog

Jason Nawara

Jan 03 |14:58

DJ Michael Bisping has a brand-new blog blasting Alan Belcher for the 'boring' fight that was promised to be an entertaining brawl at UFC 155, and aside from a few blatant Malakhovs (typos), this is one hell of an entertaining read. We're shocked Yahoo doesn't have a Russian to Wisconsin transplant that dissects every article with a fine-tooth comb. And what is a fine tooth comb anyway? Well, not that you asked (but I did) a fine-tooth comb is a comb with small and narrow teeth mostly used to remove lice and eggs from the hair when lice shampoo doesn't do the trick. The phrase was then used as early as the 19th century to denote fine detective work. The only problem now, for me at least, is the irresistible urge to bust out into a Bisping/Belcher blog breakdown full of bravado and bad alliteration. This is my curse.

Here is a bit of the Bisping blog of Belcher blast, bros:

UFC president Dana White has confirmed that if I beat Vitor Belfort in two weeks – which is a big ask – then I get the next shot at Silva. But, that’s the limit of how much I have thought about Anderson Silva. All this talk will be for nothing if I get caught by Vitor Belfort in Brazil on January 19.

I’m doing a few of these blogs, so without wanting anyone to think I’m not 100 percent focused on Belfort and that fight, and in the interest of keeping something fresh to talk about over the next four blogs, I’ll talk a little about UFC 155, which was a huge card for my division. I was there in person and the undercard was great, the last two fights were awesome… and the middleweights let us down.

I felt sorry for Chris Leben, who didn’t look himself and clearly was suffering from ring rust in his fight. I hope next time he’s the Crippler of old. Fit and healthy, he’s one of the most exciting guys in the UFC and the middleweight division is richer having Leben in it.

Obviously commiserations are in order for my former fellow top five contenders Alan Belcher and Tim Boetsch, who both came up short in big fight at UFC 155 on December 29. Belcher lost to Yushin Okami and Boetsch lost to Costa Philippou. I respect all my fellow fighters, and I know the agony of defeat, so heartfelt commiserations to both of these two fine, upstanding gentlemen.

Now I’ve got that obligatory fluffy stuff out of the way, I’d like to say I’m looking forward to these two simpletons keeping their pie holes shut about me for a little while. Those two have been calling me out and talking crap for months, and I would have got some real enjoyment beating them in the Octagon but two no-marks took that glory.

Belcher lost every minute of every round in a fight so boring I was afraid my brain was going to melt and start to dribble out of my ears. It was like someone detonated a nuclear bomb of boredom in the arena – everyone in the seats around me was playing Angry Birds.

What delusions of grandeur Belcher has. This is a guy who didn’t fight for a year after giving himself career-threatening eye-strain by watching too much internet porn, and he thinks he’s god’s gift to MMA. He even told UFC president Dana White that after he beat Okami, he’d fight me on January 19 if something happens to Belfort. This is a guy who got his arse kicked by two guys I smashed (Yoshihiro Akiyama and Jason Day) but he thinks he can not only beat me on a couple weeks’ training, but also assumed he was getting passed Okami, who is not to be underestimated.

Anyway, now we don’t have to listen to this guy anymore. Back to the undercard, sunshine!

That really leaves myself and Chris “Sick Note” Weidman, a nice humble guy who’s got plenty to be humble about, at the top of the rankings. And as Chris retired last June, there’s no doubt I’m the No.1 contender to Anderson Silva’s world middleweight title.

Hit me up on Twitter @bisping, as ever, Hendo gifs are welcome.