UFC on FOX 6 will be mere minutes away from where I lay my head at night, so I plan on bringing as many exclusives to the beautiful eyes of the beautiful MiddleEasy readers with their beautiful heads and those eyes connected by their beautiful retinal blood vessels and beautiful optical nerves... It's going to be great. The only wildcard is if I get motorboated by Rampage Jackson at the open workouts or something, that won't go over well, I'm sure. It will also be really, really difficult for me not to howl at the moon Rampage style whenever he's nearby.

Howl at the moon Rampage style like I did after watching this video by KingZ. I emailed every staff member of MiddleEasy and in an unofficial poll, we think this fight against Glover Teixeira is going to deliver the goodness. Both of these gentlemen wish to bang, and they will be granted that opportunity. Receive hype.

*Note: this satirical article does not in any way represent how the author will conduct himself at any professional events. Literally any. The author cannot, however, control a Rampage motorboating situation. Thank you.

[Source]

Comments   

 

+11 # Doorhandle 2013-01-08 13:27

Teixeira takes this via speaking English better than Rampage. Kidding. But seriously, Teixeira wins this for sure.

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-12 # Yawn 2013-01-08 13:53

Out of Prime VS Overhype. The last fight on an FX prelims at best

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+6 # -teknien- 2013-01-08 14:01

Texeira by last min Rampage injury.

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+1 # Zoos 2013-01-08 14:27

Rampage talks big but doesn't deliver anymore, and he complains too much. I'd be embarrassed to do Rampage howl.

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-3 # Sambro 2013-01-08 14:34

Grover is gonna send Whampage packin'. Can't wait. Getting tired of his whining.

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+5 # Poop 2013-01-08 15:55

AAHHHHHHWWWWHHH HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!!!! !!!!!!!

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0 # Zman 2013-01-08 16:04

Texeira is going to get murdered

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+2 # TheTruth 2013-01-08 16:18

Rampage is a clown. Glover is going to steamroll him, he's ready to kill anyone man!

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+4 # meh 2013-01-08 17:28

i still respect Rampage. he's delviered on too many great mma memories for me to stop supporting him now. if he's healthy despite that being a big if i think he can deliver. Sell Maldo rock Tex like that makes me confident Rampage can do the same. we'll see

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0 # fuckandersonsilva 2013-01-09 11:44

damn...that made my nipples hard

let's not get it twisted, this is revenge match. and rampage is the pit's kryptonite.

rampage ud, vicious ud

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